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Best food quote ever

Just heard this on one of the "dear food network" specials. A woman is badly chopping some herbs and says that it will look rustic and homemade and Tyler Florence says (and oh, I love this!), "You can bury a lot by calling it rustic."

Yup. I agree. Sometimes you purposely are looking for that rustic look but sometimes the word is used as a cover for things being sloppy, lumpy, uneven, chunky, unpeeled, or done in a lazy way.

Beef stew is a rustic dish. Lumpy mashed potatoes are just lumpy.

43 Comments:

No soup for you--one year! (the Soup Nazi).

Cook free or die - Bourdain

Where's the beef? (sweet little elderly lady-Wendy's commercial)

Shut up. I'm eating.

Cogito ergo nom.

From TV commercials:

Is it soup yet?
When dinner is ready, we always call out, "It's soup!"

I can't believe I ate the whole thing!

That was one spicy meatball.

"I have a culinary boner" - Andrew D'Ambrosi, Top Chef Season 4

@jonfoxx ~ how could I have forgotten? you win! haha

@Cass - it's good that I was just about to take a sip of my tea, or it would have been all over my monitor:-)

Burgess Meredith in Grumpy Old Men, "Let me tell you some thing, Johnny...every morning, I wake up and smoke a sig, and I eat 5 strips of bacon. For lunch, a bacon sandwich. And for midday snack - bacon...a whole damn plate! And I usually drink my dinner..."

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

W. Somerset Maugham: "To eat well in England you should have breakfast three times a day."

I'm going back to the kitchen now.

"MMMMmmmm.....forbidden donut"
--Homer Simpson

Well, probably not the best ever, and maybe not so much a food quote, but spoken by one of the best foodies ever, and certainly words to live by...


“Life itself is the proper binge.”
--Julia Child

"let them eat cake...." marie antoinette before she lost her head!

I'm with @jonfoxx - "I have culinary boner" is my favorite food quote!

Of course, there is also the eternal Mrs. Child: "Dining with one's friends and beloved family is certainly one of life's primal and most innocent delights, one that is both soul-satisfying and eternal."

"Caviar should be round, and hard, and of adequate size, and should burst in your mouth at *precisely* the right moment. "
Goldie Hawn as Joanna Staton in Overboard

"Old man, you give those dogs another piece of my food and I'm gonna kick you 'til you're dead!"
Olympia Dukakis as Rose Castorini in Moonstruck

"Do you know what happens in that restaurant every night? RAPE! RAPE!... The rape of cuisine."
Tony Shaloub as Primo in Big Night

"There's no food in your food!"
Joan Cusack as Constance Dobler in Say Anything

I am having a foodgasam by Bourdain.
I am making a Kwanzza cake....by you know who!!

Watermelon: you eat, you drink, you wash your face. Enrico Caruso and my dad who always thought he could sing just like him. (All Italians think they can sing!)

@chiff I had forgoten that one. LOVE Moonstruck. One of my fave movies. " Snap out of it!"

I like lumpy mashed potatoes.

"Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon."
Dalai Lama

Just about anything by MFK Fisher.

Twas a brave man indeed that 'et the first oyster - Johnathan Swift

also,
You can't make friends with salad. - The Simpsons

Don't know who said it, but it was a guest chef on an episode of Baking with Julia, "You shouldn't be afraid of the dough. The dough should be a little bit afraid of you."

I have a culinary boner. Chef Andrew from Season 4 of Top Chef is a great one.
One of my all time chalk full of favs is Kitchen Confidential the series

Welcome to the Church of the Holy Cabbage. Lettuce pray.

"Now I have to admit," Chester went on, "I had more than a taste. As a matter of fact, I ate so much that I couldn't keep my eyes open-what with being tired from the jumping and everything. And I fell asleep right there in the picnic basket. The first thing I knew someone had put a bag on top of me that had the last of the roast beef sandwiches in it. I couldn't move!"

"Imagine that! Trapped under roast beef sandwiches!" said Tucker. "Well, there are worst fates."
-The Cricket in Times Square

Ooooh, I love this thread. I have a few favorites...enjoy!

"Leave the gun. Take the Cannoli."
— Peter Clemenza

"Great restaurants are, of course, nothing but mouth-brothels. There is no point in going to them if one intends to keep one's belt buckled."
— Frederic Raphael

"It is always sad when someone leaves home, unless they are simply going around the corner and will return in a few minutes with ice-cream sandwiches."
— Lemony Snicket

"When you wake up in the morning, Pooh," said Piglet at last, "what's the first thing you say to yourself?"
"What's for breakfast?" said Pooh. "What do you say, Piglet?"
"I say, I wonder what's going to happen exciting today?" said Piglet.
Pooh nodded thoughtfully. "It's the same thing," he said."
— A.A. Milne

"The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook"
— Julia Child


i still love the one seriouseats posted a few months ago by graham roumieu:

'may all of your meltdowns be ice cream related'

Never eat more than you can lift.
-Miss Piggy

(I also love juliebugsmama's Godfather and Pooh quotes!)

"I like my steak well done"
"you'll eat it bloody, to feed your blood!"

How can you argue with that logic?

HAM & EGGS... days work for the chicken, a lifetime commitment for the pig.

I didn't climb to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian...

I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage...~erma bombeck

If we weren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?

There is plenty of room for all God's creatures, right between the potato and vegetables...

I love the Godfather one, but the two that cme to mind immediately were both from Mr. Bourdain:

"Do you really think the first person to cook snail and eat snail was a chef? That was one hungry son-of-a-bitch, some starving Frenchman sitting on their porch watching a snail cross the porch thinking, ‘maybe if I put enough garlic butter on that thing I would be able to eat it;'"

and (no offense, I just think it's funny and well-worded);

"Vegetarians, and their Hezbollah-like splinter faction, the vegans, are a persistent irritant to any chef worth a damn. To me, life without veal stock, pork fat, sausage, organ meat, demi-glace, or even stinky cheese is a life not worth living. Vegetarians are the enemy of everything good and decent in the human spirit, and an affront to all I stand for, the pure enjoyment of food."

To add to the already awesome Bourdain quotes that have been mentioned, I have this one to offer --- I had met THE MAN himself at a starchefs.com event that I volunteered for a few years ago. I shook his hand, told him how much I admired him and such... and then told him that I hoped he would forgive me for *ahem* -- being a vegetarian (albeit not a strict one re: stock, cheese, etc). You know what he said to me?

"Two words. PORK FAT. You KNOW you want it!!"

My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're gonna get.

(Forrest Gump)

"Say...I like green eggs and ham! I do! I like them, Sam I Am!"

"Mmmm...waffle runoff" - Homer Simpson

"Sacrilicious" - Homer Simpson

(I think those were in the same episode.)

@luswim: I have a different take from Forrest Gump's mama:

Life is like a box of chocolates: you'd better eat them while they're still there.

Pulp Fiction:
On coffee:
Jules: Mmmm! Goddamn, Jimmie! This is some serious gourmet shit! Usually, me and Vince would be happy with some freeze-dried Taster's Choice right, but he springs this serious GOURMET shit on us! What flavor is this?
Jimmie: Knock it off, Julie.
Jules: [pause] What?
Jimmie: I don't need you to tell me how fucking good my coffee is, okay? I'm the one who buys it. I know how good it is. When Bonnie goes shopping she buys SHIT. I buy the gourmet expensive stuff because when I drink it I want to taste it. But you know what's on my mind right now? It AIN'T the coffee in my kitchen, it's...

On pork and bacon:
Vincent: Want some bacon?
Jules: No man, I don't eat pork.
Vincent: Are you Jewish?
Jules: Nah, I ain't Jewish, I just don't dig on swine, that's all.
Vincent: Why not?
Jules: Pigs are filthy animals. I don't eat filthy animals.
Vincent: Bacon tastes gooood. Pork chops taste gooood.

On burgers:
Jules: Good. Looks like me an Vincent caught you boys at breakfast. Sorry about that. Whatcha havin'?
Brett: Hamburgers.
Jules: Hamburgers! The cornerstone of any nutritious breakfast. What kind of hamburgers?
Brett: Ch-cheeseburgers.
Jules: No, no no, where'd you get 'em? McDonalds? Wendy's? Jack in the Box? Where?
Brett: Big Kahuna Burger.
Jules: Big Kahuna Burger. That's that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I ain't never had one myself. How are they?
Brett: They're good.
Jules: Mind if I try one of yours? This is yours here, right?
[Picks up burger and takes a bite]
Jules: Mmm-mmmm. That is a tasty burger. Vincent, ever have a Big Kahuna Burger?
[Vincent shakes his head]
Jules: Wanna bite? They're real tasty.
Vincent: Ain't hungry.
Jules: Well, if you like burgers give 'em a try sometime. I can't usually get 'em myself because my girlfriend's a vegetarian which pretty much makes me a vegetarian. But I do love the taste of a good burger. Mm-mm-mm. You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with cheese in France?
Brett: No.
Jules: Tell 'em, Vincent.
Vincent: A Royale with cheese.
Jules: A Royale with cheese! You know why they call it that?
Brett: Because of the metric system?
Jules: Check out the big brain on Brett! You're a smart motherfucker. That's right. The metric system. What's in this?
Brett: Sprite.
Jules: Sprite, good. You mind if I have some of your tasty beverage to wash this down?

And there's even more great food related lines in Pulp Fiction, but these are my three favorite conversations.

The friendly cow all red and white,
I love wiith all my heart:
She gives me cream with all her might
To eat with apple tart --Robert Louis Stevenson
Spam can't be absorbed by the penis. --possibly the weirdest line ever uttered in a CSI episode
Upon being served what he deemed to be inadequate portions, at a private dinner, Alfred Hitchcock was asked by his host: "I do hope you dine again with us again soon." Hitchcock answered "By all means, let's start now." --Bartlett's Quotations
Great topic--and I was so ready for this--ux and I write down weird quotes in a little notebook as soon as we find them.

Health food makes me sick - Calvin Trillin

Never eat more than you can lift - Miss Piggy

Eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside. - Mark Twain

@juliebugsmama - I'd never hear that Frederic Raphael quote before. It's my new favorite. I love it!

Thought of another...

"How did they get spaghetti on the ceiling?"
- Ron Carey as Frankie in Fatso

Norm, on "Cheers," speaking of his visits to the Hungry Heiffer where he could "mosey up to the trough!"

@producestories, me too. they are the yummy and i like different textures in my food.

i dont have a favorite quote from this year, but i thought i should offer something....

Susie: Want to trade sandwiches, Calvin?
Calvin: No, I've got my favorite kind. What did you bring?
Susie: Peanut butter.
Calvin: I have processed mouse loaf.
Susie: Oh, gross. That's not really mouse loaf. It looks like egg salad.
Calvin: Taste it and see. Here, I think this is a whisker. It's good.

I'll play:

Oscar Madison: Temper, temper. If I wanted nagging, I'd go back with my wife. I'm out. Who wants food?
Murray: What do you got?
Oscar Madison: I got, uh, brown sandwiches and, uh, green sandwiches. Which one do you want?
Murray: What's the green?
Oscar Madison: It's either very new cheese or very old meat.
Murray: I'll take the brown.

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