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Espresso w/Guiness, homefries and bacon!

I enjoy Damon's contributions from Cali, and whenever I leave NYC I check here for burger rec's abroad; in sum, more reviews from vetted and knowledgeable contributors would be nice.

I measure the mainstreaming of a food product against McDonald's, like when they introduced "chipotle" barbecue sauce, Angus burgers and most recently the "gourmet" products of the McCafe line.

That said, only since moving to Sunset Park did I come to the realization that demographics define what is available in grocery stores. I thought I had gone crazy the first few weeks after I stumbled into multiple stores that seemed to not know of the glorious pork products available to the greater population, and when I tried baking I had to go to Target to get toffee bits- toffee bits!

And now I too gauge my apartment's worth based on its proximity to a Fairway or comparable supermarket (subway access be damned).

I've been thinking about a Bubby's pie for almost a year now

See? Mutant foods get no love. Foodists make me sad for the culinary world. This type of daring innovation is what we need to end lunchtime boredom and droll dinners.

Ahem (clears throat):

Here lies Ed Levine,
No more serious eater there's been,
But so hungry was Kuban,
For a burger of human,
With a seriously tasty gene!

Why is there so little recognition of the fact that New York and Chicago- "authentic"- styles of pizza are actually the exception to the rule? As a Midwesterner who grew up on Pizza Hut and Papa Johns and CiCi's and Domino's and Li'L Ceasar's and a plethora of local joints, I think New York and Chicago (and California to a lesser degree) need to understand that their style of pizza is no better than the way they speak English is better than the way they speak it elsewhere.

That said, Mellow Mushroom is a delicious and standout example of the "National" style of pizza, embodied by the inclusion of quality (but accessible) meats, veggies, cheeses on hearty sauce and a bread thick enough to pick up and eat without having to be folded (but pliable enough to do so if desireable).

My only beef with them is the blending of California-style toppings (Jamaican jerked chicken) with National-style pizza (red sauce and mozz). While the regional styles of pizza may peacefully exist side by side, breeding them (such as piling toppings on a flimsy New York crust) just results of an icky mess that is neither tasty nor enjoyable to eat.

McRib has made my mouth happy way more times than Twizzlers.

@Channa: you will find these snacks fifteen paces north of the 42nd Street entrance to the unsightly PA Bus Terminal; make a left of 9 gilderblocks and step on the blue sidewalk panel three times while clucking like an Ecuadorian rooster to reveal a 7/11 wherein they can be bartered for (but cash works best)

@Anyone who liked them: I never said these were good- they're not- and you have foolishly revealed to all AHT readers your disgusting habit of lighting sticks on fire and extinguishing them on your tongue; shame on you

@Anyone who tried them: provided Karma is not laid off in the coming months I'm certain she will repay you with an appropriately insubstantial reward

Despite my best efforts, I was unable to get the Cheeseburger Combos to mate with the McDonald's french fries and large Coke, even in the presence of Barry White's sexually inviting voice. Our search for that elusive Cheeseburger Combo Combos continues...

-Wm. Wonka Bitters