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NY style crumb cake is 2 - 3 parts crumbs to 1 part cake, so if you're freaking about the butter, halve the crumb recipe for regular crumb cake.

Or better yet, use only half; freeze the rest airtight and have uber-fast crumb cake next time.

Also, regarding flat topping: I'm surprised that "domestic goddess" Martha apparently doesn't know the secrets to great crumb topping:

1. using fingertips, push clumps of topping together to form large crumbs (large peas to kidney bean sized).
2. make the crumbs BEFORE the batter and refrigerate or freeze until ready to place evenly on the batter.
3. You need to place the larger crumbs so the entire top is covered and you don't break the clumps you invested your time in making.

The chilled clumps retain their shape during baking so the cake is be-yoo-tiful and the big crumbs provide a great texture treat.

If I'm serving this for a plate & fork situation, I like to incorporate a thin layer of perfectly ripe sliced summer fruit in the batter. (In the cake, not between the cake & crumbs: that makes the sugar dissolve and the cake soggy.) Can make the cake too tender to eat out of hand.

Hope this is helpful to someone.

Oh lemonfair! thanks for the blast from the past. I saw a very similar recipe on "The Victory Garden" when I was about 10, but my mom was not "into" dairy products so I never had it.

All these ideas are great! I'm nihon-jin and have no issues about eating salted cukes & leftover rice FOR DAYS! Also a big fan of cuke raita on any grilled protein and all curried items.

Don't let "hostess"'s lack of consideration get to you. As others have mentioned, maybe she's self-involved, or incompetent & the party is overwhelming her.
In any case, promptly (within 24 hours) reply that "her suggestion was interesting" (or whatever wording makes it clear that you don't take orders from her, yet isn't confrontational). And, you're sure you can figure out something to fill out the dessert table by the weekend.
Then, make or purchase something nice. Please don't denigrate yourself with the temptation to be stingy or uncooperative. There's gonna be others at the BBQ who are probably lovely people who maybe are completely unaware of the hostess' clumsiness. Enjoy them, and yourself. GL

Bertolli's Dinner for Two: Cook 3/4 - 1 lb pasta, toss in a bag of high quality frozen veg (Safeway Select Tuscan Blend is good) before draining; toss into pan with a mostly cooked Bertolli's. Finish cooking, add a crusty bread, and "Dinner for Two" now generously feeds 4 or 5. The frozen sauce is pretty abundant (enough to flavor all the additions; but if you like your pasta swimming in sauce, I'm sure you could find a matching or similar bottled Bertolli sauce to add). All the sauces I've tasted have been very well flavored.
btw, in my experience, the chicken is dry & tough, so I only go for the shrimp, sausage or vegetable versions, which have been excellent.

You left out a huge piece of info: What's YOUR budget?

If he's perpetually broke, then he'll be cooking with economical ingredients.
If you're also broke, I echo the suggestion for a slow cooker. A lot safer, easier & cheaper than simmering or braising for hours on the stove or in the oven. But can a hungry guy stand the aroma of cooking food, knowing it is inedible for the next 2-6 hours? Also, most slow cookers can only do slow simmer or fast simmer.

Therefore, if you've got the $$, I suggest you spring for a good-quality, modern pressure cooker. Flavorful & healthful stew from cheapo meat & veg in 1/2 hour. Rice or beans in 15 minutes. A good pressure cooker pan is high quality, so it also serves as a heavy saucepan or even a dutch oven for deep frying.

Both a slow cooker and a pressure cooker come with simple recipes that a beginner can use and an experienced cook can expand & improvise with.

PS. Knives & cookbooks are pretty personal as far as picking the ONE that will work for a person. Unless you're soulmates with this guy or you can check his registery, don't do it.

You sound like a good pal. GL

I think the "R" is pretty self-evident: when in use, your fingertips look like prongs (visualize a prong-set diamond solitaire). I'm dubious about the "tongs" part, though. Personally, I would advocate "frongs" = finger prongs.
Anyway, I'm sitting on the trongs fence: I wouldn't mock someone using them, but I wouldn't buy a set for myself.
In an ideal world, every eating establishment would bring hot towels to wipe one's hands before eating. (imho, it's the 2nd best thing about high end sushi bars.) I agree with phil_jones: Eating with one's hands enhances the experience. And, most U.S. eateries have someplace to wash up after eating.
Q: Do they protect against heat? THAT would be a great advantage.

why don't laws against price gouging count in an airport, esp. since "9/11" regs make every carry-on thing subject to scanning and fingering by any number of TSAs. Anyways... I make a huge green salad with lots of veg & some protein garnish. I usually freeze something like grapes to keep grilled chicken chilled. I feel marinated and thoroughly cooked is safer to sit at room temp than just cooked meat. Make the toppings juicy & flavorful, so I don't need dressing. Pack garnishes in zipper bags so TSA fingering is minimal. I bring fork saved from Delta flight, so I know it's TSA-OK. Air travel in particular is so hard on the body & mental state, so I try to be good to my gi.

You got 1/4 cup juice from 2 key limes? Two dried up, "on the verge of expiration" limes???
Sorry but my suspension of disbelief just burst.

Oh, another potluck success story.
My friend CeCe is very insecure about her cooking (actually fears being judged????) Anyway, she contacts the local Vietnamese hole in the wall and orders a party tray of summer rolls: vegetarian, chicken and meat versions. She just walks down the street to pick them up the same afternoon. Lots of raving for them (I LOVE summer rolls if they're really minty and full of veg, not just noodle. YUM YUM YUM)
Once again, this is an assembly line dish, not really cooking. But once they're done, just cover the serving dish (damp paper towel will help keep them moist while in the fridge) and no worries even 36 hours in advance. Buy a nice peanut sauce or concoct your own special version--it's the sauce most people go nuts for. Pardon the pun...;)
And sweet chili sauce, of course.

Howdy folks -
there are two types of shirataki: Pure bean and half tofu.
the tofu version is definitely more palatable for western tastes.
It is a bit less odorous.
And it is notably less "bouncy" in the mouth. It is closer to the tenderness (al dente) of grain-based noodles.
Don't get me wrong: You won't be fooled in a blind tasting; but it may be a "good enough" substitute until you can add a higher carb item.
And yes, they are definitely perishable: Come on, they're packed in water; use a little common sense.

Related: This seemed crazy to me when I first heard of it, but a friend made a batch and we concurred that it was pretty good.
Beat up a couple eggs with 1/4 stock or water. Cook thin sheets in a slow skillet. They need to be cooked until dry, or they'll stick to themselves; not fun, not tasty.
When cool enough to handle, roll up the sheets and slice into noodles (like you're making fetticcine).
This really does have the mouth feel of noodles! I was distracted by the eggy-ness, which I could taste through the sauce, but that didn't bother my pal. So, let your palate decide.
This comes from Suzanne Sommers, whose food plan rejects carbs for the insulin impact (rather than weight loss) but all roads lead to Rome, I guess. Anyway SS says her mom does this.

I hope this is helpful. Good Luck