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First time on Serious Eats and this was so good I had to join so I could post - so here goes:
Spam. No explanation necessary.
Marmite. I ahve no idea what this is but it sounds like insect paste.
Tofu
Organ meats
ditto on the cold cuts that end in 'loaf'
Scrapple
Converted rice. Even my kids called it 'fake.'
Livermush - Hey "Sbelle" I'm from NC too!
Bologna, and I probably should put in hotdogs. I took a graduate nutrition class and as a part we toured a meat processing factory. Ewww.
Bait. Sorry but as a kid it was often in the fridge, not as food of course. It's that NC upbringing again.
There are lots of convenience foods that have saved the day for me or pacified my granddaughter, so I won't list them, but I agree that it's just not that hard to do something quick from scratch.